10. Covers all the news that happens within one block of the office
9. Today’s exclusive — “Nixon Dead!”
8. Reporter sent to jail for refusing to divulge a source… Oh, and he also killed a dude
7. All horoscopes: “Now would be a good time to get out of the newspaper business”
6. Paper’s motto: “Suck it”
5. Every “hot” gossip item is about Jack Klugman
4. Managing editor and guy who wheels around breakfast? Same guy
3. Under “Weather,” it just reads “Yes”
2. Instead of “Garfield,” has a comic strip called “Garfunkel”
1. You endorsed Dennis Kucinich